Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Ugly Toad

I feel like a toad.

A big, fat, lumpy, warty, ugly toad.

My face has been breakout central for at least a month now. I turned 29+ 3 this week, so perhaps a reminder that I in now actually IN my 30's, not just barely 30. Its like my face is in competition with my ass to see who can have more creases and crevices, dips and dimples. But, for now, it is safe to say, that my ass is winning that competition. But, either way, its just down right gross. It like all of a sudden my face went backwards 15 years while my body stayed the same. My own twisted version of 13 going on 30 - except limited to my face, because if my ass suddenly decided to revert backwards to when I was 13, I would not be complaining.

And, you know what else, I can't seem to lose the 10 pounds I gained at the holidays. I don't want to stop eating carbs to do it. Not eating carbs makes me a nasty, miserable, irritable person. I love carbs like a fat kid love cookies. I have tried to think of several reason why I can't shake this 10 pounds. And, yet, I can not come up with one. I am very good about portion control/measuring. I drink at least 4 or 5 16 ounce glasses of water each day. And, I am giving up soda and something else to be determined for Lent. And, I keep asking God to make me skinny. Either what he's doing is not working or he's not listening.

And, this 10 pounds? Which feels more like 15, plus my face issues, is what is making me feel like a big, fat, lumpy, warty, ugly toad. My jeans are tight and my pants don't fit the way I want them too. My cheeks are fatter than a chipmunk gathering for winter storage and I could hide small children and animals in the rolls of my chin. My hair is stringy and greasy, or at least I think it is, and my fingers look like lil' smokies in need of BBQ sauce. I even think this 10 extra pounds is making my toes look fat.

A big, fat, lumpy, warty, ugly toad. Yep. that is EXACTLY how I feel.

2 comments:

LZ @ My Messy Paradise said...

Sing it, sister. I've been convinced for 2 years that my dryer has somehow figured out how to shrink my pants - only in the ass region. I'm slowly starting to realize it might not be my dryer.

Scary Mommy said...

I know exactly how you feel. Except your ten? Is my 25. And I know what I need to do to lose it, but I just can't seem to do it. Sigh.