Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Grumpy, a list, II

My husband misplaced our daughter's bear one night last week. He couldn't remember if he had put it in the car when he picked her up from the sitters. I had to drive country roads & look in ditches with a flash light for my daughter beloved bear. I thought I was going to have to bury him in the backyard, vertically, up to his neck. (We found it - at home - in plain sight. Go figure)

I hate it when I work all day and arrive home to a house full to two cranky people that have been at odds with each other all day. I blame the full moon.

It snowed. Yesterday. 4 days before the start of May. What the fuck.

I wish life would stop handing me lemons. I am really not a fan of lemonade. Hand me me coffee beans. At least then I could make coffee.

I am tired of being poor. And, if one more person tells me that I am rich in life I just might have to club them in the head with a baseball bat.

I have been on a diet for 6 weeks now. This is in addition to giving up soda and baked goods of all kinds for lent, prior to the last 6 weeks. I have lost a total 15 pounds. Have I mentioned that I am miserable? I want to do nothing but eat - so in place of eating I drink water. Which means not only am I miserable, but I am miserable and have to pee all the time.

There has been nothing on TV lately. This is no inclusive of the almost 80 hours of television I have recorded to our DVR to watch. Its all stuff I enjoy to watch - but, yet, I sit and whine that there is nothing to watch, because, well, I am not in the mood to watch what is on.

Did I mention that I am also, in addition to the diet, am trying to quit smoking. SO, I guess that makes me a miserable person constantly seeking a bathroom to relieve my over worked bladder while wishing I had a Camel Light. Want to come hang out with me?

Thursday, April 1, 2010

The Pivot Questionnaire

These 10 questions originally came from a French series, "Bouillon de Culture" hosted by Bernard Pivot. They're better known as the questions that James Lipton asks every guest at the end of "Inside the Actor's Studio" show. I LOVE that show and always watch it every time that I see that it is on.

As I was answering these questions for some reason I was able to imagine Jame Lipton sitting next to me, the coolness of the room and a the rapt attention of those in the audience. So, without further ado:

1. What is your favorite word? shenigans

2. What is your least favorite word? can't

3. What turns you on? the smell of freshly washed sheets that have been hung outside to dry in the warm summer breeze

4. What turns you off? ignorance

5. What sound or noise do you love? My daughter's laugh

6. What sound or noise do you hate? The buzzing an alarm clock makes

7. What is your favorite curse word? ClusterFuck

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Fashion Designer

9. What profession would you not like to do? doctor

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Here's your Mocha Latte with extra whip, everything bagel with cream cheese and Oh - you never have to worry about doing laundry again.